Listen to this blog post on Soundcloud Maybe you are wondering where you Tuesday Naked Moms Blog post was. In short, it’s been a crazy week. Actually a crazy couple of weeks our family has gotten hit some whirlwind circumstances lately (good and bad) […]
Month: September 2018
As a young woman who has seen first hand what a relationship built on bad habits looks like, this topic is near to my heart. I have seen and been a part of relationships that were based on selfish actions and hidden agendas. I never […]
Welcome September! During this month we are all trying to get back into the swing of life without the summer. Kids are in school and Mamas may still be feeling the sting of their babies not being so little anymore. Teachers are excited for the year and the spirit of learning and order is in the air.
Keeping with the back to school spirit of September we, at Naked Moms Blog, thought it would be cool to make this month’s umbrella topic all about learning -rather unlearning.
Along with the start of the school year, the inspiration behind this series came as a result of working through some transitions in my life. Transitions bring friction and a discomfort just like any growing pain. No matter how worth it a change in your life may be, the best changes don’t come without their fair share of hardship and frustration. My family is pursuing vocational ministry. Which is a big switch from the corporate job my husband had for the past couple years. This great transition that we are going through, has actually exposed some areas in my life that I thought I had the answer (or at least an answer) and revealing that some false things I have believed about God, relationships, myself and my own abilities.
In a really good way, I’ve had to trust God far more than what was comfortable and actually work on developing some basic habits in order to intentionally grow my relationship with him. I have also had the ugly habits, beliefs and wants rise to the surface and I’m having to UNLEARN some things in order to grow.
One thing in particular is my dysfunctional “faith” in God. Even though I was never taught this, at some point in my life I started believing that I could earn God’s love and affection for me. It was hard for me to understand that He is 100% whole and doesn’t need anything from me, not even my faith. Time and time again I would find myself trying to conjure up the feeling of faith and not actually just taking God at His word. I thought that if I didn’t meet him halfway or that if I didn’t have enough faith things wouldn’t work out. If you asked me directly if I believed that God helps those who helps themselves I would say absolutely not! But by my actions and my lack of true faith in God, it showed at the core that my faith was dysfunctional.
I look at kind of like this: When I finally got to meet my son after laboring to bring him into the world I was so glad just to see him and know him. Now that he’s older, the moment he wakes up I’m glad to see him. Not because of anything he does because let’s be real, there is nothing that he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I am 100% sufficient without him, but I want him, cherish him, and I love that he wants to know me too.
Likewise, when he wakes up, his food is ready. I made that happen because I love him. When he needs something or wants something he asks me confidently because he knows that his mama WILL provide for him. Sometimes he tries to get me to do what he wants even though what he wants isn’t what he needs. Sometimes I say no because I love him. I discipline him because I love him. I don’t want his faith in me to be based off of any false idea that I say no because I don’t care or that I discipline because I’m mean. That would break my heart and honestly make me mad.
But that is how I deal with God all the time. It’s easier for me to develop this notion that I need to earn his love because grace is harder to digest. It’s easier for me to believe that if He says no it’s cause he’s not good because it’s harder to not know the why behind all he does. He’s showing me that He made me a good worker not to work to Him but to work from the abilities He provided me with. That should be good news! It’s hard to not have the answers but it’s harder to have dysfunctional faith in God.
Two practical things that helped with this for me is:
- Consistently reading my bible. I need to know what God actually had said and who He actually is. Podcasts and blogs (yes even this one) are great but they aren’t the Word of God. I heard someone say how if you have time to eat or sleep, you have time to read your bible. Meaning, connecting with God should be viewed as a vital things in your life not a negotiable thing if you “find the time.” If I can be on social media I can carve out time to read my bible and listen to God.
- Being honest with people about where I struggle to trust God. I have people who I can be vulnerable with about my fears and they don’t just make me feel better, but point me to the truth. I let people poke holes in my worldview and let them challenge with am I trusting God or trusting in myself.
In this series were going to talk about hard things. Me and the Naked Moms Blog team are going to get candid about some of the things we have had to UNLEARN in the areas of relationships (romantic and friendships), sexuality, self image and shame and invite you to join the conversation on our Facebook page, and our Instagram too!
What are some ways you combat dysfunctional faith?
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Written By: Calah Jackson